Hello to you, Leader?

I’m writing you a letter.

You might not read it but

I’ll still give it a try.

Brainstorming with my colleagues

We offer to set rate to

One ruble for one dollar.

Let’s get rid now, Leader,

Of this alien currency,

Let’s keep only the ruble —

It is dearest for us.



I pay ruble for dollar —

No single kopek more.

I want a ruble for dollar —

For euro nothing more.

I pay ruble for dollar —

No single kopek more.

I pay ruble for dollar —

It is even too much

(I know, it’ll come such).


Let’s, Leader, we together

Decide it this moment —

To set the Russian ruble

As gold equivalent.

Then gather all those green notes

To make’em really green —

Recycling them, wink, wink.

Return those guys their buttwipes,

Not listening to cries.

Exchanging to a real gold

This deal is honest-cold.



If they don’t have real metal

We can do barter, yeah.

Let’s vote which state is better,

Which parcel of their land.

Make our vote on matter —

And everybody’ll come.

I’m not speaking Alaska —

For the slander, disrespect — the moral damage we have had.

We should already receive Alaska back.